Stupidity, Jokes, sarcasm and Really?

So, my mom is German. That makes me, I'm proud to say, half German. The food, the culture and traditions are great! It's when I tell people I am German and that I have lived there for a while that it gets very sarcastic.

"WOW... you lived in Germany? So... are you like a Nazi?"

Here comes my "really...?" stare also known as (named by my sisters on spring break) "stupid look"

"Uh yeah... I killed thousands of Jews over 50 years ago, I just look REALLY young for my age."

Here comes their "wait... what?" stare.

I would think that you don't have to be German to know the history of one of the biggest, inhumane acts of the century. Well, I couldn't let this person keep thinking that every German they will come across is a Nazi, especially me! But when I tell them that not only am I NOT a Nazi or even my grandparents but that not all Nazis were German, they don't believe me.

It's like when someone already makes up their mind about something, there is nothing that will change it. Nothing.

"Did you know you could lose your virginity from a tampon?" My friend said VERY bluntly and confidently and WRONGLY!!

Uh Oh here it comes... I can't help it.... It's on stoppable... It's the "REALLY?" look.

"When you lose your virginity, you have to actually have sex with another person..."

"No! I read about it."

"Oh OK... well I guess it's true than."

Sometimes when I am sarcastic or making a joke, I don't like to laugh because I think it makes the joke funnier and the sarcasm a free and painless entertainment, especially when people take you serious.

"Sometimes I wish people would just DIE!"

"Oh, be careful what you wish...AHHHHHHH!" Said with complete seriousness. I thought it was funny but was I the only one? No one was laughing... I am not the one who feels stupid for spontaneously screaming in a public place... I would think everyone else would feel stupid for not getting the joke.

I think another reason why I don't like laughing at my own jokes is because it would make me a hypocrite. I really don't like when people make a joke, laugh and then say "Get it?! Get it!? Because..."

My mom is the best person that provides the best time to use sarcasm.

Standing right in front of her she asked, "Are you out of the bathroom?"

Because she is my mom, I can't flash her my "Really?" look so I just graced her with my sarcastic remarks. "No mom, I'm still in there and here at the same time, I was able to clone myself while in there so I could answer you. I guess the bathroom is used for a lot more than you would think."

I really do love teasing people. When I lived in the dorms my roommate and I liked to take our mattresses off our beds and put them in the living room to have a "sleepover." A guy from across the hall literally stepped over the mattress to walk to my room and noticed my springs from my bed.

"Whoa, where did your mattress go?"

("Really?") "I actually like sleeping without it. I think it helps my back, no pillow or anything. I even like it when my hair gets caught in the springs and pulled in separate directions."

Yeah I am a smart a** sometimes... but it's so much fun! I mean COME ON... He stepped right over it!

Really...?

:)